Read What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind By Debra Ollivier

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What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind-Debra Ollivier

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The Los Angeles Times bestseller! "A Gallic prescription for living a life that is richer, more sensual, messier, and a lot more fun" (Boston Globe) It's not the shoes, the scarves, or the lipstick that gives French women their allure. It's this: French women don't give a damn. They don't expect men to understand them. They don't care about being liked or being like everyone else. They accept the passage of time, celebrate the immediacy of pleasure, embrace ambiguity and imperfection, and prefer having a life to making a living. In What French Women Know, Debra Ollivier goes beyond stale ooh- la-la stereotypes, challenging ingrained notions about sex, love, marriage, motherhood, and everything in between. With savvy, provocative thinking from French mistresses and maidens alike, Ollivier presents a refreshing counterpoint to the tired love dogma of our times, and offers realistic, liberating alternatives from the land that knows how to love.

Book What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind Review :



Debra Ollivier’s wit and literary brilliance dance off the pages of this book. Her comparison and contrast (mainly contrast) of the belief and values between French and American women is extensive. Chapters on how French women view and attend to relationship and marriage are especially insightful and liberating, particularly for those of us in long-term partnerships. However, Ollivier’s education on “What French Women Know” is limited, for her book is less about enlightening American women in the areas of “love, sex and other matters of the heart and mind,” and more about shaming us. Her psyche appears to be split between the French/American cultural programming, or what Carl Jung called the “tension of the opposites.” If Ollivier had focused on what French women deem important, rather than finding fault with the lifestyle and choices of American women, this book would have received five stars.Yes, we struggle with the same issues as French women (and I’m saying this as an American woman who is 30% French and a Francophile), e.g., body image, aging, the desire for passion, etc., but we are not the Desperate Housewives obsessed-watching-femmes Ollivier portrays us to be. (And it’s worth noting that issues for French and American women, such as body image, are merely flip sides of the same coin. For example, on one hand she admires the French woman’s ability to constrict food intake to remain “svelte” but chastises the American woman for stress eating then dieting. Both situations stem from the dire and futile pressure to look perfect, do they not?) The circles of women I know (and I reside in both the Midwest and Central Coast California), are activists, healers, leaders, women committed to their emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development.Unfortunately, despite the breadth of scope this book encompasses about French women, it is very difficult not to defend American women from the judgment and oppressive viewpoints flowing from Ollivier’s assessments. Rather than looking down her nose in the company of French women while reading the New York Times in Paris, it would have been much more helpful if Ollivier kept her heart open to the struggles American women face. As Jung stated, it doesn’t have to be “either/or” when it comes to French and American lifestyle choices, it could “both, and….” It really is okay for this author to enjoy “joie de vivre” while residing in both Los Angeles and Paris. And it really is okay to applaud the depth and substance many American women possess.
"The brevity of time and the immediacy of 'le plaisir'" (a 'pseudo' quote from the book). The emphasis seems to be on secrecy: "Follow your passion, don't tell anyone about it, and see what happens." We are told that the French are currently obsessed with "infidelity". They are busily exploring the possibilities of broad cultural acceptance that one's spouse might have a "parallel life" (or even more than one), a mysterious life that mysteriously makes their marriage more stable... and more "plaisir-able". The French historically seem to prefer "ignorance is bliss" so "don't ask, don't tell." But perhaps they are now drifting more rapidly toward ENM, or Ethical Non-Monogamy (which by that moniker would sound "tres ennuyeuse" to any French woman worth her "echarpe et bottes"). That won't stop French women from seducing anyone and everyone, and making them quietly thank God for orchestrating that seduction! There are many interesting comparisons between French and American cultural norms and probable future changes therein. The more I ruminate on this book, the more impressed I am with its witty insights and other thought-provocations!Tres bien!

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